MISCELLANY

"You look saddened, my friend" said the Wise One.

"I am troubled because all hammers are to be banned from this Great Land."

"Why does this trouble you?"

"Because I am a builder by trade and the Craftsmen at the Machine Shop say that I don’t need a hammer. They use only the screwdriver to build machines. They say that a hammer is obsolete. They also say it is redundant since both are tools used to fasten things together. Also, they say that it is costly to provide hammers. A set of screwdrivers has more functions and is therefore the better tool."

"The Craftsmen are enlightened, they know what is best. You are just resistant to change."

"No, Wise One. That is not the case. Long ago, when they replaced my little hammer with a bigger and stronger one, I was happy. When they later replaced that one with yet a better one, I was even happier. I was delighted when the Craftsmen allowed use Workers to have access to screwdrivers, for at one time only the Craftsmen were enlightened enough to use them. Now I use both every day, for it is easier to do my work. The Craftsmen build only machines, they have no need for a hammer. A screwdriver and screws are necessary to build some things, but not all things. I work for many people and often build fences for them. Sometimes they want me to work quickly, so time is important to me. Using hammer and nail is faster then using screwdriver and screw. They both accomplish the same thing, but less effort is required in using the hammer. If I must use only a screwdriver, it will take longer to complete the task and I will become frustrated in my work."

"Worker, you are a trouble maker."

"I try not to be, Wise One. I just want to work and have the tools to do it efficiently. There are many other Workers like me who also use a hammer. The Craftsmen say that it will save costs to ban all hammers. But how can that be if it takes us longer to complete the same tasks? If it takes just several Workers just a little longer, the cost savings could be lost."

"Oh Worker, you are naïve to the ways of this Great Land. The Master requires cost reductions everywhere. By not replacing worn hammers every year, the Master can see a tangible cost reduction, and he is happy. The Craftsmen are also happy because they are responsible for this happiness. The cost of requiring more time to complete your tasks is intangible. It is transparent, there is no vision, so they are blind to what they cannot see."

"Wise One, what am I to do now? The hammers are banned. But I still need to build fences with nails and I need to build them timely and efficiently and with quality/"

"Worker, use a screwdriver to pound the nails."

The above words of wisdom were penned by my dear friend,

Laura Hagan in 1993.

THE US STANDARD RAILROAD GUAGE

The US standard railroad gauge (the distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That’s an exceedingly odd number.

Why is that gauge used?

Because that’s the way they built them in England, and the first US railroads were built by English engineers.

Why did the English build them that wide?

Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built pre-railroad tramways, and that’s the gauge they used.

And why did they use that gauge?

Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that were used for building wagons, and these used that wheel spacing.

Okay!

Why did the wagons use that odd wheel spacing?

Well, if they used any other spacing, the wagons would break on some of the old, long distance roads, because that’s the spacing of the old wheel ruts.

So who built these old rutted roads?

The first long-distance roads in Europe were built by Imperial Rome for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.

And the ruts?

The ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagons, were made by Roman war chariots.

Thus we have the answer to the original question. The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches comes from the original specification for a Roman army war chariot. Specs and bureaucracies live forever. So, the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse’s ass came up with it, you may be exactly right. Because Imperial Roman chariots were made to be wide enough to accommodate the back-ends of two war horses.